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Happiness: A Mind Game!!

Vidya Nag
Vidya Nag
Director and Founder of Magna Image Corporation, President AICI India Chapter
Ms Vidya Nag, director and founder of Magna Image Corporation, President AICI India chapter, is a... more>>
In today's fast paced world, life changes in a flutter of an eyelid. As working women this may not always work to our advantage. Multitasking has become our middle name. Your proficiency at work is gauged not by the degree to which you can hold a role, but by your ability to switch between them. We take this so personally that we have become habituated to keeping our personal needs and our feelings at arm's length.

Once, while waiting for a client at a coffee shop, I accidentally overheard snippets of a conversation. Two gorgeous ladies were talking about their hectic lives and about balancing work, home and children. One was swamped with her very hectic life while the other seemed to have a positive outlook to the same situation. I was amazed by this. What is it that that makes one person different from another despite sailing in the very same boat?  While both ladies were evidently well educated, did well on a professional level and had families to attend to, one antagonized about everything in her life while the other was not bogged down by it. Why did this difference exist? Other than the gift of hormonal variation by the almighty there must surely be a concrete reason.  My theory is that it is just our perception of life; our differences in our insight about varied situations. Like two sisters, we differ in the journeys we take and how we travel down the roads to our destinations: some of us are given big, smooth roads but we react with a grumpy mood while others are given the smaller side roads but yet they smile. And hence, while one woman decided to adopt a negative outlook, the other saw everything through rosy glasses. 

These women continued to converse about an array of topics such as how demanding their boss was and just how fast children grew up, including teenage tantrums to take care of and husbands taking minimal responsibilities (how stereotypical that these are the topics that their conversation revolved around) I realized that while the negative woman complained, the other positive one merely nodded and smiled. The latter seemed unfazed by the melodrama common to both their lives. Upon eavesdropping, I found myself empathizing with the former as even I had encountered similar situations. But her friend was indifferent. Many working women in the same situation would empathize with their situation, I was sure, whether or not you have a positive outlook to life. And so I found myself questioning as to what led to this lack of empathy. Why is it that even though both women faced the same problem, career women juggling roles at home and out, the friend didn't seem to understand the magnitude of unhappiness the first woman felt.  Between placing orders and sipping a hot cup of espresso, I heard her say, "It's all a mind game."

Alas! A seemingly genuine friend summed it all up as a mind game. No wonder the suicidal tendencies among women are skyrocketing. You don't have a soul to understand your feelings. It might be that I am intruding but believe me, I wanted to get up, go and give the other lady a piece of mind. She may have been positive about her outlook on life, but she was being selfish and insensitive. Unfortunately, my client arrived and I got caught up with my own meeting. As I headed back home I replayed the conversation the ladies had and wondered for a long time what did a 'mind game' mean, in this context? Much to my own surprise, clouds started to clear. Mind game. Yes! It is your vision on every facet of life. We all have goals and aims. Our ambitions don't seem to have an end. Hard work combined with meticulous planning forms our way of life. Climbing corporate ladder step by step, trying to be the glamorous wife, a perfect mother, good friend etcetera is all on the agenda but for the small thing called 'Happiness'. 

After a well-planned game and the success that follows we have limited idea as to what comes after that.  Not because your aims are not achieved nor because you could not prove your worth but simply because you could not stop and enjoy the scenery when you crossed each threshold. We are all so engrossed in pinning the second target after hitting the first that we hardly notice the completion of first, let alone rejoicing in the glory of its success. 

Human life is a circle, you finish where you started. Women are emotionally very strong and more often than not suppress their own desire to accommodate someone. It's their nature to place everybody else in front. Make happiness your way of life. Don't set target to find happiness instead try to be happy with what you do. It's not often life throws a chance at you to be happy, but be strong and ready to hold onto anything that is given to you. If you go searching for happiness you may end up with nothing but if you be happy with what you have, you're the winner. No matter what the situation is, no matter how hard the roads are just smile and make the best use of what is given to you. Remember, it's a mind game. If you say to yourself that you're happy then you will eventually feel good about everything in your life. But if you keep your mind in the shadow of your next conquest, forgetting the glory of your first, you will never be truly happy.  Multitasking in work and personal life brings about the best you have in you. It increases your confidence in life to take up any task with zest. You prove you're self-worth. A woman is a thousand times stronger than a man so it’s up to you, a woman, on how you choose to cash in this strength. Being strong is more than just physical. Every road leads to a destination so make happiness your road to reach that destination.  Lot of time the journey is more over powering than the end. As we go on playing the multiple roles in life lets create a memorable cluster of pictures in our mind's album. This is what that lady meant when she said mind's game. Your mind is your master. So the key is to feel happy, to be happy.
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